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Self-Hug

Materials Needed:

To Support Feeling:

Excluded

How to Do It

Cross your arms over your chest and gently stroke your upper arms from shoulders to elbows, repeating a soothing motion while breathing deeply. As you do this, focus on the feeling of comfort and self-compassion.

Why It Works

The self-hug or Havening technique is known to create a sense of safety and reduce feelings of isolation, helping to counteract the emotional pain of exclusion by promoting self-soothing.

Guided Practice

Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths. Allow yourself to become aware of the gentle rise and fall of your belly as you breathe. Allow your breath to be a wave that moves through you.

Wrap your arms around yourself in a gentle hug, feeling the warmth of your own embrace. Notice the sensation of your hands on your upper arms, the pressure of your hug, and the soothing effect of your touch. Allow yourself to sink into this self-embrace, feeling the support and comfort it provides. As you hold yourself, notice any emotions that arise. Feel into the sensation of self-compassion and self-soothing — perhaps a sense of warmth, a feeling of reassurance, or even a bit of resistance. Stay with these sensations, allowing them to deepen your connection to yourself. Notice any images, symbols, or memories that come up — perhaps a memory of being hugged by a loved one, a belief about self-care, or an image of a soft, comforting blanket. Allow these images to enhance your sense of safety and comfort, or, if the sensation feels uncomfortable, simply acknowledge that without judgment. Visualize the hug as a protective shield, wrapping around you and creating a safe space. Feel the energy of your own embrace radiating outward, providing a barrier of comfort and support. Notice how this visualization makes you feel — perhaps a sense of security, a feeling of vulnerability, or even a touch of sadness for the need for comfort. Stay with these feelings, letting them guide your understanding of what you need in this moment. When you feel ready, gently release the hug, and take a few deep breaths, feeling the residual warmth in your arms and chest. Notice how your body feels now — perhaps more relaxed, more supported, or simply more attuned to your own needs. Gently open your eyes, carrying this sense of self-compassion and care with you into your day, feeling more prepared to offer yourself kindness and support.

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